It’s 12:20 pm on 10 April 17.
Looking outside as I hear a incoming thunderstorm start to make its self heard. The rain drops are starting to hit. I was about to leave to get a haircut and was checking out something online when I saw this post by Heidi,the admin in my Crazy4Blogging group on Facebook.
This is my blog,I don’t have very many readers but I cherish the ones I do. The statement got me thinking,I know I re-blog many of my older entries here. Most have been my film reviews as I am now able to link them to the IMDb site which I hope brings me more traffic.
I haven’t posted a lot of older posts detailing Lori and my journey during her illness.
I was going to post the blog entry below yesterday because it marked the first entry of the long struggle that was ahead of Lori. What had been seen as a simple and clean hysterectomy which would have removed her cancer in one operation didn’t have the outcome we had prayed for.
Instead I posted my Have Cheetah,Will View #38 – “Knuckleball!” review. I admit,I got a little emotional re-reading the entry and since I wanted to write without tears streaming down my face,I left it alone.
But a funny thing happened,a former high school classmate whom I had just recently friended on Facebook,read my review and very graciously said I was a good writer.
So I sent her the blog entry below and she shared that she needed a check up and that her family had been gently asking her about it as well. She told me she was going to take steps to get checked out.
Seeing Heidi’s message this morning really brought it home,as bloggers,we always want readers and traffic. Yesterday I had 17 views here and today I have 10….but all it takes is just the one in order to impact a life.
Its 12:26 am
Back home tonight….it was a long day. My armor showed its first cracks….
Had a good day today…got to the hospital and went into my wife’s room…except she isn’t there…she is out motoring on her own,taking a walk about around her floor. She comes back in and we catch up on her night….progress is being made at a rapid pace…her MS (morphine) drip is pulled,her last two EKG tabs are pulled and she is able to take a shower.
That said,that is what is done….afterwards in her own PJs and feeling refreshed,her spirits are much improved. The diet is upgraded slightly to toast and popsicles w/lukewarm tea and orange juice.
The day started out cloudy and rainy but it cleared up in time to watch the Tiger’s Opening Day game against the Royals.
We enjoyed watching the pre-game ceremonies and seeing the sell-out crowd cheering away. The game itself was okay,the Tigers put a 4 spot on the board in the 1st inning to go up 4-0. At the same time the Yankees are getting drilled by Boston…makes for a long afternoon indeed.
With the Tigers ahead,my wife dozes off for a few…her face is peaceful….
3:30 PM….the nursing staff changes over. We meet Diana,our NA for the evening…the Tigers are still winning and the Yanks are still losing,Hughes is getting bombed.
My wife places a order for toast and a popsicle at 5 pm. We finish watching the Tigers win,5-2,a patient cheered when the final out was made.
5:30 pm….no toast
5:45 pm….no toast
6:00 pm….the doctors make rounds,see how well my wife is recovering and upgrade her meal to solid food. As we are waiting for a menu,we make another lap around the floor….
6:25 pm…..we come back to find……a single slice of toast.
6:30 PM….We meet Jaime,my wife’s RN for the night,he places a fish dinner order for her…and when we asked about bladder lift,he brings up her treatment profile and tells us exactly what took place on Tuesday morning.
As he is explaining it,he mentions something that finally cracked my armor…something Dr. Johnston didn’t tell us. They found cancer very close to the colon…and it hits me….what was originally a stage 2 cancer now has been elevated…I can taste the fear for the first time and I’m not liking this at all…
The kitchen rolls in my wife’s dinner…meat loaf! Since she is observing Lent,she doesn’t eat meat on Fridays plus she had ordered fish….so the order is regiven and at 7:30,I head on home…I have to hurry because I can feel my tears coming,she can’t see me cry,can she? We kiss and I head out…get my parking stamped and lose it in hallway. First time since this whole fucking hell has started in September and I am losing it….I ask,are we in a stage 3 arena now? The nurses don’t but say Jaime might know….we walk down the hall and I want an honest answer…he can’t say for sure but does admit this cancer has caught everyone by surprise with its speed. But as far as stage 3 goes,we have to wait for Wednesday to see what the pathology says. What we don’t want to see is this:
As you can see,this is a very aggressive form of cancer and it can invade other parts of the body,including the bowels.
And this is what is really bothering me….how fast it progressed from a self-contained uterine cancer with a 87% cure rate to the unknown.
I’m going to offer once again my bone marrow…there has to be a way to slow this beast down…
All eyes are on Wednesday.
keep us in your prayers.