Have Cheetah,Will View #48 – “#Horror”(2015)

It’s 6:20 pm

The cheetah and I were watching “Dirty Jobs: Collection One” which we got for free from Disc Replay. Basically if you buy 5 TV seasons,you get one season free. Because of some mix-up,not only did we get Dirty Jobs for free but also Alias the second season. I didn’t even realize that until I got home. But it was there right on my receipt and so Paladin and I were watching Mike Rowe say “poo” in every episode.
Suddenly I saw a post from the famous Bobby LePire of Terribly Fun Films Seems like Bobby had watched “#Horror” and was crushing it and not in a good way. While he loves good campy movies like the cheetah and I do,there is a difference between camp and terrible.

That being said,I was curious…because I had “#Horror” in my waiting to be watch stash. While I knew it was a IFC Midnight release,that didn’t ensure that it would be good. We have watched two IFC Midnight releases and hated “The Abandoned” but we loved “The Dead Room”
So that being said and seeing how Bobby reacted to this movie,the cheetah and I popped it in and watched it. Well,I watched it….the cheetah bailed after about 5 minutes after leaving a furball on my pizza.

#Horror is about a group of white well off 12 year old girls who are supposedly hooked on playing a video game on their phones. They are meeting at the ring leader’s home for a sleepover. As the girls start arriving at the house,a little backstory comes into play.
We find out that Sam is not one of the rich elite families,she and her mom are poor. Sam doesn’t let her mom drive her up to the house because she is ashamed of her mom and their car.

Another girl,Cat White is dropped off by her father (played by Timothy Hutton). Father and daughter have a lot of issues between them ever since the mother/wife died in the past year.  Sofia Cox is the girl whose house is hosting the party. What Sofia and her mom Alex (Chloe Sevigny) don’t know is that their father/husband and his mistress have been killed on the grounds.

The girls get together and do what most pre-teens do…laugh,fashion shows and poke fun at each other. The insults start to get a little too personal as Cat has a sharp tongue and has gotten in hot water for picking on people.
After Alex leaves for a AA meeting (while drinking vodka),the girls start causing a bit more trouble as they are left alone in the house. When Cat teases one girl just a little harshly,Sofia kicks her out of the house. Cat tries to backpedal but she is forced to leave.
Standing outside,she calls her dad who isn’t answering the phone…..but when he does,it starts a chain that leads to tragedy and heartbreak….

Now looking at what I wrote,#Horror seems like a straight ahead scary film and you couldn’t be more wrong. This movie is a complete mess. First time director Tara Subkoff directs this as she was the one drunk. There is no cohesion in her story,her killer couldn’t have committed the first crimes because he/she wasn’t even on the grounds. We’re also supposed to accept that a mother would leave a group of 12 year old girls unsupervised in this day and age. The biggest crime of this movie? Reducing a Oscar winning actor like Hutton into playing a crazy,over the top father. His Dr. White isn’t believable for a second. His terrorizing of the girls is so over the top,you just feel bad for Hutton. He deserved so much better then this. The editing was choppy and sloppy which is amazing considering Subkoff spent SEVEN months with her editors,Janice Hampton and Catrin Hedstrom. It didn’t help because this film is a series of dark slashes and sideway shots that make zero sense. And the video game? If anyone can make heads or tales of what the game is,please,drop a comment and let us know….
None of the cast stood out at all,all played basic stereotypes and you never care about them as characters in the slightest. Sevigny played her Alex just as she does in every movie she is in. No life,spark and absolutely no #Horror to be found her.

My one question….how is it that the IFC arm releases so many great films and for some reason,IFC Midnight can’t get its shit together? Its a damn shame because I really do enjoy watching IFC releases. But I think unless the Midnight banner improves,I’m going to be skipping those for a while.

The cheetah and I both carried this movie to the litter box and buried it…under some poo.

If you care to pick up a copy of #Horror,you can do so by going to the IFC website