Have Cheetah,Will View #55 – “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever”(2002)

It’s 10:00 pm

Ever know a friend or family member who loves a film that no one else seems to? Or maybe watch a movie that you liked when you first saw it and later on when you see it again,you wonder what the hell you were thinking?

Well this exact thing happened when I found a copy of “Ecks vs. Sever”. I was excited because I found a copy and I couldn’t wait to show the cheetah about this cool action packed thriller with always wonder Lucy Liu and the handsome Antonio Banderas.

ecks up
The story is straight forward…Gregg Henry plays Gant, a rogue government agent who not only fakes his death but the death of Jeremiah Ecks’s wife and vanishes. Ecks quits the FBI and goes into seclusion. But when a legendary assassin,Sever (Liu) suddenly pops up on the radar  with Gant in hot pursuit,the director of the FBI approaches Ecks to come back and help capture her. Ecks has no interest until the director tells Ecks that his wife is still alive and Sever has critical intel on where she is. Ecks then starts looking for Sever.
It turns out that Sever has kidnapped Gant’s son and Gant is desperate to get him back and started a massive hunt for her.  Once Ecks and Sever quit trying to kill each other,they decide that since they both hate Gant more,they’ll team up and take him and his small army out.
There are some other details as to way Sever has taken Gant’s son but I won’t reveal that…what’s the point because after the cheetah and I watched “Ecks vs. Sever”,he clicked off the remote and suggested “Paladin vs. guy who made me watch this crap”.

I have to agree,as I watched this movie,I was shocked that I had thought it was “good” the first time around when in fact its a steaming pile of cheetahpoo. See,the story idea sounds great but it never makes it to the screen,all you get is a badly directed and edited mess that wastes an kick ass cast in a exercise of endless violence,huge gaping holes of logic and enough cliches to fuel a soap opera for a decade.

There are so many illogical things going in “Ecks vs. Sever” that it would melt your eyes.
But let us focus on the good things…..once again Gregg Henry plays a GREAT villain,he oozes evil and bad tidings in just about every bad guy part he has played.  He reminds me of my favorite character,Michael Ironside,he elevates just about every project he is in..but he can’t save this movie.
Lucy Liu is beautiful and lethal as Sever,she has a reason for kidnapping a child and despite holding him in a cage,she isn’t doing it because her need for revenge. She and Banderas have a good onscreen chemistry and the one thing you as a viewer leave with after watching this,is the hope one day these two can do another movie together,something with soul and humanity.

Ray Park played Gant’s right hand man but his Ross had a nice sense of mystery about him,he played him as a man with a gray area,he wasn’t blindly loyal to Gant and you got a feeling he wasn’t quite on board with Gant’s plans. Of course the script threw that out at the end and made him fight Lucy Liu. Another waste.
This left Antonio Banderas has Jeremiah Ecks. His Ecks is supposed to be a crack elite FBI agent but he comes across as a half-wit in Alan B. McElroy’s script. There are two scenes that just had the cheetah and I laughing our asses off. After Ecks gets into two different fights,he uses his gun by placing the barrel in the dirt to stand up!!
The first two rules of gun operations:
1. Assume the gun is loaded
2. NEVER put the tip of the gun in the dirt/mud and use it as an aid to get up.


I could go on but you get the picture……this was bloody awful. This movie is one of the worst reviewed in history which I didn’t know until I wrote my review…..

Ecks vs. Sever is rated “R” and runs for 91 painful minutes.
Directed by Kaos (no shit!!) Screenplay by Alan B. McElroy.
The DVD has a Making Of feature as well as a interactive game called “Know Your Enemy”.

I gave this a thumbs down and the cheetah gave a me a “surprise” in my bed.
I tried telling him not all old movies turn out this bad….just wait til I show him “Jaws:The Revenge”!! All will be forgiven when he sees that classic!!!

Thoughts on “Ecks vs. Sever”? Share ’em below!

If you want to buy a copy you can go here to do so.

One thought on “Have Cheetah,Will View #55 – “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever”(2002)

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