Guest writer Brad Beneke – “Curtain Call”

It’s 12:14 am

Today’s guest writer is Brad Beneke,a poet/healer who resides in Minnesota. Brad is one of the bravest men I have met in my life,the mountains and valleys he has traveled would have scared off the vast majority of sane folks.
Brad loves his family,music and his beloved Minnesota Twins. He is also a excellent writer and poet who I have been trying to get on my blog forever. Today,forever has come and we are all the richer for it.


30 Aug 16

“Curtain Call”

Seems fitting to me that on a day when I have to say goodbye to a large piece of my childhood in the legendary Gene Wilder that this song should play on my iPod. For me this is a big boy, and it’s ironic that James and I were just discussing them and their potential/probable reunion tour. I had also mentioned I was about due for an IM3 post. Almost like kismet I open the wounds that have filled my ink well so many times somewhat surprised there’s still so much blood… So much emotion… I’m shocked, but I’m also tremendously grateful…

When I was a college age kid this was the only band that came close to Pearl Jam for me. The madness, the genius, the absurdity of his terrible but somehow perfect voice and words… Jesus Christ the words… I hadn’t heard this song in so long and just listening to it the tears are pouring down my cheeks and my nose is running.

“Ain’t it funny” how this song has held up so perfectly with me through over 20 years? “I won’t deny the change” that time has hit me with. “I won’t deny the pain…” And this song is almost killing me with emotion tonight, and I can’t even begin to come close to finding the adjectives to make it pretty…. “And if I should die right now…” I’ll never know a song that has evolved in its devastation… In its translation of emotion for me through all these years.

I remember sitting with Chad and we’d work through the lyrics and flail away in utter failure at the music for so many Smashing Pumpkins songs off of Siamese Dream, but as much as that album and those times mean to me in a historical kind of way… None of their hits hit me like this. None of their videos came close…

My greatest fear… “Should I fall from grace here with you… Will you leave me too?” A song for a lover, a song for a dream, a nightmare and a wish…. “Too late to turn back now…” As I’m halfway through this life. Hell, I can’t deny the change, and yet the power is still the same in this declaration of love.

The amazing musical changes throughout this song proved to me without a doubt that Billy and company talented enough to come up with anything and make it work. Funny how the only the only things that could have stopped them were a bullet or Billy himself… So get lost with me in an epitaph…

For someone like myself who is often mistaken for an atheist the title of this song is such subtle poison to torture both me and them with a Darwinistic game of throwing stones hat sentimentality and theologic pondering which I’m far more apt to do than I’ll ever be given credit… But this song is my loss of religion when it was love, and was the carving out of my heart to so many girls… Well “if we died right now this fool (I wish) you loved somehow would be with you.”

Galapagos by Smashing Pumpkins… One of the 10 most powerful songs in my silly little life.

Comments are always welcome and encouraged. Thank you for reading my blog.

23 thoughts on “Guest writer Brad Beneke – “Curtain Call”

  1. I love this so much! It’s beautiful how music can evoke such powerful emotion! I’ve recently been revisiting a lot of old music that I haven’t listened to in years. It really brings so much back, and reminds me of everything that those songs have come to mean to me over the years. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I wasn’t a huge fan of SP as they were definitely before my time. However, I appreciate the huge impact they had on more modern bands that I loved in my youth.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post – I really do find some songs can really trigger an intense emotive reaction. There are a few moments in my life that are very poignant and there are some songs I struggle with and if I hear them unawares it can catch off guard.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your comments are all very much appreciated. I am grateful for your time.

    I do have to correct Michael due to a mistake on my part. He had asked me for the title of a poem I was working on (or so I thought) which happens to be called “Curtain Call.”

    This piece on the Smashing Pumpkins is from a series of pieces I’ve written entitled IM3 which is short for Inside My Musical Madness. I do not recall which volume this is, but if anyone is truly interested I would be happy to.

    Again. I didn’t pay close enough attention to Michael, and this error is on me. He’s a great guy, a good friend, and I’m flattered and honored to have been asked to share some of my words with you. It means more to me than I can express. Thank you again

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s amazing how much music can speak to us! I had a phase where I just wouldn’t listen to music at all but now I’ve been listening to songs that have a real meaning behind and it’s much easier when you can relate!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. When I was younger I could not imagine how my mum would spend a day without music. Now life is much louder with children, I really appreciate silence but it also makes me so much more choosy about the music that I do listen to. It must be a sign of age that I also find myself listening to lyrics when once it would have been all about the tune.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The power of music is amazing!! I can associate so many pieces to different parts of my life and feel the same feelings when I hear them again!

    Liked by 1 person

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