It’s 12:14 am
Today’s guest writer is Brad Beneke,a poet/healer who resides in Minnesota. Brad is one of the bravest men I have met in my life,the mountains and valleys he has traveled would have scared off the vast majority of sane folks.
Brad loves his family,music and his beloved Minnesota Twins. He is also a excellent writer and poet who I have been trying to get on my blog forever. Today,forever has come and we are all the richer for it.
30 Aug 16
Seems fitting to me that on a day when I have to say goodbye to a large piece of my childhood in the legendary Gene Wilder that this song should play on my iPod. For me this is a big boy, and it’s ironic that James and I were just discussing them and their potential/probable reunion tour. I had also mentioned I was about due for an IM3 post. Almost like kismet I open the wounds that have filled my ink well so many times somewhat surprised there’s still so much blood… So much emotion… I’m shocked, but I’m also tremendously grateful…
When I was a college age kid this was the only band that came close to Pearl Jam for me. The madness, the genius, the absurdity of his terrible but somehow perfect voice and words… Jesus Christ the words… I hadn’t heard this song in so long and just listening to it the tears are pouring down my cheeks and my nose is running.
“Ain’t it funny” how this song has held up so perfectly with me through over 20 years? “I won’t deny the change” that time has hit me with. “I won’t deny the pain…” And this song is almost killing me with emotion tonight, and I can’t even begin to come close to finding the adjectives to make it pretty…. “And if I should die right now…” I’ll never know a song that has evolved in its devastation… In its translation of emotion for me through all these years.
I remember sitting with Chad and we’d work through the lyrics and flail away in utter failure at the music for so many Smashing Pumpkins songs off of Siamese Dream, but as much as that album and those times mean to me in a historical kind of way… None of their hits hit me like this. None of their videos came close…
My greatest fear… “Should I fall from grace here with you… Will you leave me too?” A song for a lover, a song for a dream, a nightmare and a wish…. “Too late to turn back now…” As I’m halfway through this life. Hell, I can’t deny the change, and yet the power is still the same in this declaration of love.
The amazing musical changes throughout this song proved to me without a doubt that Billy and company talented enough to come up with anything and make it work. Funny how the only the only things that could have stopped them were a bullet or Billy himself… So get lost with me in an epitaph…
For someone like myself who is often mistaken for an atheist the title of this song is such subtle poison to torture both me and them with a Darwinistic game of throwing stones hat sentimentality and theologic pondering which I’m far more apt to do than I’ll ever be given credit… But this song is my loss of religion when it was love, and was the carving out of my heart to so many girls… Well “if we died right now this fool (I wish) you loved somehow would be with you.”
Galapagos by Smashing Pumpkins… One of the 10 most powerful songs in my silly little life.
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