Guest writer Slade Wilson – “A Guy’s Guide to Rom-Coms”

It’s 3:20 pm
A while ago I was talking to my boy Slade Wilson about romantic comedies. We both movies quite a bit and we can rap for hours on both good and bad movies (except for horror films,Slade doesn’t do horror.) no matter the genre. So when the subject of the Rom-Com came up,we talked the pros and cons. Slade made so many great points that I decided to kill two birds with one pen.
First to get Slade to share is POV about said Rom-Coms and to showcase the writing of the very FIRST blogger I became friends with. Slade has been through the depths of hell with me and even though we have never met,I love him like a brother. He is a great writer and I hope he’ll drop by here a LOT more!! But for now…..enjoy his guest post!!

 

 

A Guy’s Guide to Rom-Coms.

 

Yeah, that first line is a doozy, ain’t it?  Y’all can blame Mike for this one.  It was born out of a discussion we were having about what kind of Romantic Comedies would a guy actually not want to kill himself watching and why?  Well, lets go over why a guy would ever watch a Rom-Com.

 

First off, nine times out of ten – date.  Oh yeah, you’re watching this because she’s sick of all your death and destruction and/or your frat boy comedies.  All the testosterone movies.  You know I’m right.  As much as my wife (who is damn near perfect – oh yes she is – she not only likes to watch sports, she understands them!!!) will watch “Captain America: Winter Soldier” with me again and again, there are times she’s like, “Can we watch `Murder She Wrote`?” and I throw up just a little in my mouth before I smile and say, “Of course, boo.  Not a problem.”.  Then a small part of my soul dies.

 

Alright so here goes: so what kind of romantic comedies would a dude be able to watch and not wanna kill himself.  Well this is my guide so here goes:

 

One – Any movie with the following women starring:  Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Alba, Gabrielle Union, Jessica Biel, Halle Berry, and Kerry Washington.  ANY ROMANTIC COMEDY.  ANY.  Just want to be clear.

 

Two – Certain really funny casts work sometimes.  “Girls Trip” was hilarious.  “Rough Night” was crap.  And that had Scar-Jo in it.  Go figure. “The Other Woman” – a gem.  I can watch that a thousand times.  Well written and funny as hell.  Cameron Diaz killed it.  And she’s 50/50 at best.  Which leads to my next part of the list…

Three –  Certain actresses you have to look out for because they can trick you.  Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, Angela Bassett, Queen Latifah, Jennifer Garner, Kirsten Bell, Julia Stiles, Emma Stone (who I love but Lord knows she’s done some that make you wanna kill yourself), Nia Long and then there is the one that really tries to trick you into watching utter garbage:  Jennifer Lawrence.

Four: There are some really good romantic comedies that guys can dig only because the cast and the writing really works.  And then there are some really horrible ones.  Really, really bad.  Like why would you make any man you love sit thru this utter bullshit?  Answer – you wouldn’t.  It’s like women want to see how much you love them.  “Oh he must really love me to sit thru this crap.  This is God-Awful.  I shut my brain down an hour ago and he’s still powering thru.  This fool is gonna marry me…”  Yeah, that’s exactly what she’s thinking.  How do I know?  I was raised by women.  I listened.  Trust me, this is a conversation.

Five:  This is strictly for the brothers.  There are actual African-American rom-coms.  No, really.  And some good ones, too.  “Love Jones” might be the best romantic dramedy movie ever made.  The aformentioned “Girls Trip” was superb especially because Tiffany Haddish is a comedic goddess.  The newly crowned Queen of Black Rom-Coms is Regina Hall.  “Girls Trip”, “About Last Night”, “Think Like A Man”, Think Like A Man Too”, and “The Best Man” to name a few.  She got it on lock right about now.  Fine as hell, funny and she can act.  Sanaa Lathan has a couple.  “Love and Basketball”, “Brown Sugar”,  and she is also in “The Best Man”.  All the movies just mentioned here, guys – you can sit thru them and actually have a good time.  They’re funny and not totally insulting towards the fellas.  Oh, you’ll see further down the list the Holiday Hustle.  This actually doesn’t apply to African-American Holiday Rom-Coms.  Usually those are pretty good.  “This Christmas” you can watch anytime.  Funny and sexy.

Six:  The Katherine Heigl Syndrome.  Oh it’s a thing.  Trust me.  Forget the quotes, I’m just going to name a few.  Ready?  Knocked Up, The Ugly Truth, 27 Dresses, Killers, One For The Money, Jenny’s Wedding, The Big Wedding, etc, etc.  She’s got a ton of them.  Do your research but for my money, The Ugly Truth is actually very funny.  That one you can sit thru and enjoy yourself.  

 

Seven:  The Holiday Hustle.  BEWARE.  Garry Marshall has a ton of these suckers usually named after some sort of holiday.  New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day, ugh.  Then all the damn holiday movies.  Nine times out of ten, if a movie has a holiday in the name it’s either a horror movie or a damn rom-com (even though there ain’t much difference.). Now there are some holiday rom-coms that don’t have a holiday in the name but the subject is a holiday gathering of some sort.  Some are good (Love Actually, When Harry Met Sally, The Best Man Holiday, This Christmas) others, well…  

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – JANUARY 26: Jennifer Lopez arrives at Jennifer Lopez And Giuseppe Zanotti Celebrate Their New Shoe Collaboration at Neiman Marcus on January 26, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

Eight:  Get ahead of it.  If you know your woman likes these damn movies, do your research.  Pick out like five you can stomach or even like.  My go-to rom-com is an oldie but goodie – The Thin Man.  Hell, the whole Thin Man Series.  William Powell and Myrna Loy.  Sexy and funny.  Just very cool to watch.  You can chill, she’ll think you’re not such a neanderthal after all, and your brain won’t turn to mush.  Hey, check out some lists and most of the time, it doesn’t even take a half hour to realize if you actually can sit thru it.  My other go to is Jennifer Lopez.  Dude, I can watch J-Lo walk for an hour so believe me, if it’s one of hers (Maid in Manhattan, The Wedding Planner, Monster-In-Law (my personal fave because both Jane Fonda and Wanda Sykes literally don’t give a fuck.  They try to eat every scene like vultures.  It’s hysterical.), Shall We Dance, and the Back Up Plan to name a few) I can watch no problem.  If J-Lo doesn’t float your boat, who does?  Usually they have at least two to three rom-coms under their belt.  Google, bro.

 

Basically that’s it.  If this guide doesn’t help you, you’re screwed.  Think Brown Liquor and prayer.

 

 

How about you guys? What is your favorite Romantic-Comedy movie/stars?
Is there anyone you just don’t want to ever see do another romantic-comedy again? (SJP,I’m looking at you). Drop a comment below!!