blogging / grief / In Love / Life / Lori / love / Pink Hat Missions / Writing

little wave,BIG WAVE

Its 12:21 am
icy

Spent the first day of the New Year alone and quiet. I pretty much stayed off the computer except to hit my friend Lita with a 42 point word on “Friends With Words”.
I had a big sandwich for dinner and had a slice of cherry pie as well. I emptied the cheetah’s litter boxes (he has two,cheetah poo big) and reset a mouse trap in the basement pantry.
I would rather have the cheetah catch the mouse on his own but I can’t because he likes to jump on the furnace as on of his sleeping spots,there are too many wires,cords and piping to allow that so the door has to stay shut.
I talked to my brother for about 20 minutes as well,he and his girlfriend had a pretty fun New Year’s Eve in Portland. Our weather was terrible,it rained all day in our area.
I did venture out to hook up with Romey and we ended up braving the local Walmart.
Holy crow,what a zoo!! I knew it was going to be a bit busier then normal for New Year’s Eve but with a steady rain following,you would think traffic would be a little lighter. Nope,not in the slightest….we each shopped for a couple of items of which one will be covered later on this year.
New Year’s Eve came and went with a whimper due to the rain,a few fireworks and a couple of guns and that was it.

lori24

I decided to unplug today and just watch a few lighthearted films…the cheetah watched “Peeples” with me and that was my first movie that had Tyler Perry’s attached to it.  I thought it was really funny in many parts and Kerry Washington looked like a million dollars. As we watched the last scene,the cheetah commented that Kerry looked alot like Scarlett Johansson and damned it he wasn’t right,they really could be sisters.
I then watched a movie that Lori and I saw at the theater,a film called “Larry Crowne” which starred her two favorite actors,Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts. I hadn’t seen it since but had read it took a beating from critics and wondered why….and I’m still perplexed. I thought it was pretty good and I find as I mellow a bit,I actually tolerate Julia a bit more.
So I decided to venture out a little more and watch a movie I picked up based on how good it was,” When A Monster Calls”. As a rule,I like watching the special features first and so I watched “the making of” before the movie.
I didn’t make it 3 minutes…..and the complete onslaught what Lori went through just crushed me,I couldn’t get it off fast enough. As I type this now,its 1:55 pm (I’m rambling) and I’m waiting to be picked up to go to Target. I mention this because as I shared with a couple of people,I actually don’t like going to Target very much. Its one of the places where I really feel and people who have been through this get this,I FEEL Lori there. I have taken written how I still can feel Lori’s “wedding hands” but at Target,I can feel her dying. The last few trips we made to Target,she had to use a wheelchair and when I guided her,she would like to have one of my hands on her shoulders. The weight loss of her cancer was so evident that it is still with me today. Its a visual I see and feel every time I shop there.
The suddenness of emotions when I was watching the movie took me by surprise and I lost it,I could get the movie out fast enough. Ah yes,the Big Wave was back….I should have done what I did on Christmas Eve and watched something fun. The cheetah and I watched “Knights of Badassdom” directed by Joe Lynch and while we have watched it many times,it still made me laugh and it helped push back the sadness til Christmas morning.
What was also a first was knowing my dad and I wouldn’t be talking either for the first time and that a little surreal as well. My circle has shrunk just a little bit more in some respects but expanded in some ways as well.

3 Jan 19
1:32 pm

Holy crow,I’m rambling again I see but since this for me,I am going to ramble on.
Its a beautiful day and I’m going to write until 2 pm and then go outside. We still have no snow here in Michigan as of yet and in the metro Detroit we set a record for the least amount of snow ever recorded. I’m so used to seeing snow by now that its throwing the cheetah and myself off. He wants to burrow under the blankets but is surprised he is still able to solar himself by the patio window.
While I was typing this,I was having a great chat with Dutch filmmaker Thijs Meuwese,who co-directed the fantastic film “Molly” which was the 2nd best film of 2018 for the cheetah and myself. He and I have not only bonded over “Molly” but our love for a great underrated film that deserves much more praise then it got when it was released.
So I asked Thijs if he would like to be a guest blogger and share his thoughts on this movie and he loved the idea. So next month we’ll be having a celebrity dropping some words here.
Of course this has taken me past my 2 pm cut off point but it was well worth it.

Sock Drive 2019 update:

While we haven’t had any “official” packages as of yet,the support we have been given has been wonderful, many bloggers have shared our post and quite a few folks on Twitter also have been sharing along with one of my best Twitter friends pledging to sending some socks come November. The drive is off to a good start and I’m sure we’ll reach our goal,thanks to all of you.
When the first sock/hand towel package comes in,we’ll be having a small a party here!!
The cheetah is causing a ruckus downstairs and that is a clear sign that I need to finish this up.

Thanks for reading!

Shout Outs

My fellow bloggers – Thank you for your continued support. Please let me if I can ever be of service to you as well.

Thijs – Gonna be awesome!! Thanks for wanting to do this!

Kylie B. – Thanks for the retweet,maybe we can name a colt “Sock Drive”? Yeah,I didn’t think so either!

Jimmy A – You always make me proud,much respect for not being afraid to call out people for being assholes. You have a lot steel in your soul. Jeremiah 6:17

Lita – Thanks to you,my vocabulary is so much better thanks to our marathon “Words with Friends” games.

Romey – thanks for an amazing Christmas gift,we need to head back to Best Buy.

Joe Lynch – Thanks for a new Christmas Eve tradition.

TLW Team – welcome back crew!!

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2 thoughts on “little wave,BIG WAVE

  1. Hi Michael, sorry your New Years Day was hard.
    I do understand about going in a store or place feeling that person with you. I haven’t gone thru what you have.
    The last time I took Lori shopping was to Marshals in her wheelchair to just look around. We had fun.
    Next we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond which was next door to Marshals to get a gift card for her cousin who was getting married
    We always had fun when we girl shopped together. To be honest she is the only one I went shopping with. I enjoyed her company😊
    I do miss her ,wishing we could have had more shopping trips.
    One year later I went into Marshals in memory of our last visit. I had a hard time because I could feel her spirit with me.
    I didn’t stay long, just long enough to buy a runner rug that I knew she would like for my home.
    I haven’t gone back to Marshals since.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care my friend, Cheryl

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is rather striking at how many places one finds themselves avoiding whether intentional or not after a loved has died. There are still places in town I still haven’t been to since she passed in 2013. It is not easy and rare is the time I don’t feel her when I go out. Thank you for your kind comment.

      Like

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