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Have Cheetah,Will View – The Best and Worst Films of 2017.

It’s 5:54 pm
bitterly cold

The “Best of ” movie lists are a lot of fun to read. The critics are quick to dash out their lists on what movies were the best of the year. And while that is fun,the fact of the matter is,I didn’t go to the theater 10 times in 2017! My movie going experience was here in the comfort of my house. So what the cheetah and I are sharing are the Top 20 films we liked the most and the Bottom 10 as well. It doesn’t matter what it was released but it had to be a FIRST time watch,otherwise you would see “Starship Troopers” on every list we put out.
The Top 20 will have no order because we all liked them equally for different reasons.
But the really terrible films,those we did rank in the odor of smelliness.

 

Top 20
A Perfect Day – 2015
A IFC release,this dark comedy takes a look at the futility of the Serb-Croatian war through the eyes of a international aid team led by Benicio Del Toro and Tim Robbins.
Beautifully acted and filmed,this movie will have you laughing,crying and angry all within one setting. Del Toro easily shows why he is one of the best actors working today.
A true gem.

Knife Fight -2012
Yet another IFC release,Rob Lowe shines as a political strategist who decides to switch tactics from running dirty campaigns and to instead to run clean,honest ones. He has three different races he is juggling in order to see what kind of results being open and honest will bring. Rob Lowe hasn’t been this good in many years and this film gives you an inkling of Lowe can really do with a well written script.

The Night Crew -2015
Read our review right here.

Wish You Well – 2013
A beautiful coming of age for a brother and sister in the 1940s,this was a touching and moving movie with great performances by its young cast with a standout performance by Mackenzie Foy along with veterans Ellen Burstyn and always great Josh Lucas.
Written by David Balducci,this was beautifully directed by Darnell Martin.

 

Cut Bank – 2014
This was a excellent “cat and mouse” mystery that caught me by complete surprise.
Headlined by John Malkovich and Billy Bob Thornton,it’s Michael Stuhlburg’s chilling role as a local small town hermit looking for a lost package that will stay with you long after the credits role. His Derby Milton would make Anton Chigurh turn around and head the other way. A very underrated thriller.

Remember -(2015)
You can read our review right here.
Seven Days In Utopia-(2011)
Lucas Black stars as a PGA pro both lost on the course and in life.
Chance leads him to the town of Utopia where Robert Duvall and the rest of the town help him regain his balance. Absolutely loved this movie so much.

Tumbledown – (2015)
Jason Sudeikis comes into own as a dramatic and romantic lead in this moving film about a writer (Sudeikis) helping a woman (Rebecca Hall) deal with the loss of her husband under mysterious conditions. I have become of huge fan of Sudeikis’s work as he has worked extremely hard at his craft. You can mention him in the same breath as Steve Carell when it comes to comedians who can rock it in serious roles.

Anne of Green Gables – (2016)
Ever since I spotted Ella Ballentine more then hold her own against the likes of Thomas Jane and Laurence Fishburne in “Stand-Off”,I have followed her career. Quite simply,she is the best young actor working today and yeah,that includes the casts of “13 Reasons Why” and “Stranger Things”. Her take on one of fictions most famous characters,Anne Shirley,is so completely charming,moving and seemingly effortless,it will astound you.
Ella has done three “Anne of Green Gables” films for PBS and I really urge you take a early peek at the next big star whose feet are also firmly on the ground.

Wolf Warrior – (2015)
Jing Wu,a long time Hong Kong action star who has worked in supporting roles with the likes of Donnie Yen and Sammo Hung broke it big with this great action-adventure hit. Jing plays a master sniper who kills a drug lord’s brother in a drug bust. His actions get him transferred to an elite Chinese army unit,the Wolf Warriors.
His unit,while on war games,is ambushed by group of mercs,headed by fellow action star Scott Adkins. It’s full of guns,hand to hand combat and and amazing amount of heart. The sequel,”Wolf Warrior 2″ has been setting box office records in China this year,easily beating its huge Hollywood competition.

To Be Alone – (2017)
Read our review right here.

Wonder Woman – (2017)
The best superhero film of the year and DC’s best effort since “The Dark Knight”.
Gal Gadot is picture perfect as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman but I was more impressed with director Patty Jenkins getting such a great effort out of Chris Pine whose performance was almost completely overlooked. His Steve Trevor was spot on.
Maybe the best pure origin story yet from either Marvel or DC.

Toyland – (2007)
Read our review right here.
It Follows – (2014)
Read our review right here.

Chef- (2014)
Loved this movie so much. Reminds people that director Jon Favreau can act his ass off when he gets inspired. His Carl Casper rediscovering how much joy cooking added to life leads him on a cross country road trip with his son and his best friend. The all-star supporting cast,including the best performance yet by Sofia Vergara makes this a must watch (and owned) for any serious film fan.

Knights of Badassdom – (2013)
Oh my stars…this is a instant classic. When a couple of pals try to help a friend recover from a break-up by taking him to a LARP (Live Action Role Event) weekend,all hell breaks loose when a spell casting goes somewhat wrong.  Director Joe Lynch has crafted a fanboy masterpiece with this kick ass action-comedy. Of course the cheetah is getting tired of me watching him eat and yelling “FINISH HIM!!!!”
The Perfect Gift – (2009)
Read our review right here.

Ticking Clock (2011)
It takes a lot to catch me by surprise movie-wise. Ticking Clock does that and kicks ass doing it. Cuba Gooding,Jr. turns in one of best turns as a writer trying to stop a madman from killing a list people. He knows who is going to die and when but trying to get anyone to believe is going to be rough because he is suspect number one. The twists and turns here will have you at the edge of your seat.
Anne of Green Gables: The Good Stars  (2016)
Already mentioned Ella Ballentine but her supporting cast should be noted in the 2nd movie. Martin Sheen and Sara Botsford also shine as Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert,the brother and sister who take Anne Shirley under their care. Julia Lalonde also sparkles as Anne’s “bosom friend for life”,Diana Barry.
Anne’s story continues as she experiences the first signs of liking a boy,has an adventure in the kitchen,helps Matthew keep a secret and learns loyalty comes at a cost.
It’s another beautiful film that has gone under the PBS radar.

 

Now for my Bottom 10,movies that were sooooooooo bad that we felt it was the best interest to warn the general public about the dangers of watching these horrible movies.
And if you happen to watch them after we warned you,don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Bottom 10

10.  Game of Aces
Ever wondered whatever happened to Chris Klein’s career after doing the “American Pie” movies? It got stuck doing an extremely bad World War l movies in the California desert. Which is exactly where I’m burying this movie.

9. Djinn
Famed horror director Tobe Hooper died this year at age 74.  But his directing career died in 2013 with this smelly pile of catpoo about some demon in the Middle East haunting a family. What could have been a interesting concept just ends up with you wanting to put “Games of Aces” back on.

8.Wolverine:Origin
I wonder why no one has tried to reboot Marvel Animation? What’s that you say?
Watch “Wolverine: Origin”?  Okay,but why are you are handing me a barf bag????

7. Out Kold
Ah yeah!!! A cool gritty urban adventure with Ice-T AND Deebo from “Friday”?
Got the popcorn and Dr. Pepper ready,put the phone on silent…let’s DO this!!
My New Year’s resolution for 2018? Get my revenge on Romey for showing me this beyond bad movie AND watching Deebo get knocked out again on “Friday”.

6. Death Race 2050
So after the cheetah and I watched this Roger Corman produced action-adventure classic,I thought I would be a “pal” and give it to my pal Romey to watch,after all,don’t we all like sharing films that move us? So I forgot to tell him that what really moved me after “Death Race” was getting the disc out of my player before it melted.
Funny thing is….I saw “Out Kold” AFTER this…..wait a minute here……

5. Skin Traffik
Okay,I am not going to lie,we didn’t last but 17 minutes and 22 seconds watching this pile of dogpoo. How crap like this gets released is always a mystery to me…..

4. Silent Hill: Revelation (2012)
As much as I absolutely loved the first Silent Hill (hello,Laurie Holden!!!),is as much as I hated this godawful confused mess. Listening to Carrie-Ann Moss explain how she connected to her character when in fact she had maybe 25 lines in the whole damn movie had both of us just shaking our heads. Maybe if there had been no dialogue,this could have been saved….
3. AmeriGeddon
Read our review here.

2. Assault Girls
Read our review here.

1. #Horror
Read our review here.

 

I also invited two special guests to drop their lists as well…I have mentioned these two film buffs many times in the blog….Bobby from Terribly Fun Films  and Dan from Reject Filmz.
Both submitted their own lists of what rocked their world to us for your reading enjoyment!

First up- Bobby’s List.

Best I Have Seen-

1. Mr. Right – Sam Rockwell is underrated actor, whose easygoing charm hides a dark side. Paring him with Anna Kendrick was a stroke of genius as their chemistry ignites the screen, the direction has a lot of flourishes, the action is grand, and the jokes are brilliant.

2. The Hunting Ground (Documentary; 2015) – Kirby Dick is a stunning filmmaker, and he once again proves that with his look at college campuses and sexual assault. Not an easy sit, but powerful.

3. An Adventure In Space And Time – This BBC dramatization of the creation of the original Doctor Who seasons is remarkably well acted, very intense, and quite moving.

4. Julia X – Kevin Sorbo plays a serial with no name, who kidnaps and attempts to kill Julia. Then the twist happens, and this becomes an instant classic of a deeply dark, violent comedy.

5. Coming At Ya – This insane movie defies classification and description. But its in your face style, slick cinematography, and outrageous violence make this one of the greatest spaghetti Westerns of all time!

6. Piranha Sharks – Leigh Scott’s Christmas set b-movie is virtually perfect. Great acting that truly gets what kind of movie they are making, cool creature designs, and a level of fun and intelligence not always seen in these kinds of flicks. Pure cheesy fun!

7. Tales Of Halloween – Each story in this brilliant horror anthology intersects in very cool ways. Each segment is creepy, fun, or engaging (usually all three), and it is so much fun!

8. Firewalker – This 1980s Chuck Norris starring adventure is tremendous fun! Canon Films usually have a lower budget, but this movie looks really good, with solid effects and lush cinematography.

9. Paradox – Based on a graphic novel, this is the best performance Kevin Sorbo has ever given! The CGI is meh, but the plot is neat, the dialogue is terrific, and the action kicks ass.

10. The Horde – Intense, creepy, and cool as hell. Paul Logan does an incredible job, and the story takes some interesting twists.

 

Worst I Have Seen-

1. #horror – Piss poor, awkward editing, confusing tonal shifts, and awful dialogue make this one of the worst movies of all time. (I had no idea that we both had this as the worst film we had both watched- Patrick)

2. Legend Of The Chupacabras – Apparently this badly animated movie is based on a show of some kind. But given that one can view this movie apart from that entirely, and that there are no introductions for newcomers, makes this not only incomprehensible, but insulting. That the dialogue is crapola and the characters morons makes it all that much worse.

3. Daddy’s Home – Unfunny, overacting to an uncomfortable degree, and not a single funny joke. Simply dreadful.

4. Plan 9 – Never have I felt so personally insulted by a movie. Billing itself as the movie Ed Wood wished he made, this is so much worse than anything that amateur auteur ever made.

5. Muppets’ Wizard Of Oz – I love the Muppets. What I don’t love is poor characterizations, awkward edits, and simply the worst jokes. The most repugnant thing the Muppets have ever been a part of.

6. Zombie Croc – Even for knowingly silly z-grade non-budget flicks, this is a steaming pile of stupid, with bad acting, no plot, and literally some of the worst effects ever in a movie.

7. Passengers – How did this go wrong? Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence are great, just not together, as they share no chemistry. The plot is all sorts of creeptastic, and it is too stupid to properly recount.

8. Avenging Angelo – Overacting by Madeline Stowe. Underacting by Sylvester Stallone. Nonsensical plot. Crummy in everyway.

9. The Bad Samaritan Must Die – Terrible costumes, impossible to follow story, and acting that would be bad in a play put on by first graders.

10. Scream Machine – Cheap, cheap, cheap! Terrible gimmick for an anthology that doesn’t make sense, bad acting, and just no joy to be found anywhere.

 

Here is Dan’s list in no particular order

Logan

Spider-Man – Homecoming

Brawl In Cell Block 99

Mayhem

Autopsy Of Jane Doe

Chopping Mall

Split

The Barn

Hacksaw Ridge

Night Of Something Strange

Phantom Of The Paradise (I told Dan he would love this movie and bugged him to watch it until he did! – Patrick)

Better Watch Out

Leatherface ( Prequel to TCM)

So there you have it,some excellent films to check out and a few to send to my buddy Romey.  What was two best/worst films you saw this year? Share them in the comments below.

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